Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Is anyone out there?

Is anyone out there? I've wondered this from the beginning. There has to be someone who knows the solution. And there's nothing else I can do but continue to search.

You see, I'm a writer. And that's the only reason I'm here.

One of the hardest parts of chronic migraines is being unable to read or write. I was in the habit of  reading and writing everyday. But the writing, editing, and critiquing all came to a dead stop.

Months went by and things weren't any better. I would watch people moving normally, doing things I'd always done, and knew I could no longer do any of them. I found myself slipping into depression.

Why was this happening? What's happening? I asked myself over and over. Through it all, I kept pushing forward. I still home schooled, cooked, cleaned, attended church, put on children's drama programs, spent countless weekends on the ball field, and put on a smile. Only my closest family and friends knew about my headaches. 

No matter how bad I felt, I couldn't lie in bed while life went on all around me. Sometimes I wondered if I would feel better if I did take a break. I mean, a real break. But I never did, unless I just couldn't function because of the dizziness.

I have also lost some vision in my left eye. It's ironic since the headache is primarily on the left side of my head. Ophthalmologist found nothing wrong. Neurologist wasn't concerned. But should I be?

Either way, I had to do something different.

When a friend of my husbands, whose wife has had migraines for over 20 years went to this doctor and figured out the reason why, he treated her and she walked away after a couple of visits and has had no headaches since.

Don't you know I made me an appointment for as soon as possible. 

It still took me over a month to get in. But I believed with all my heart ... this doctor was going to help me.

The appointment couldn't get here fast enough. But finally, the day came and Rocky and I were on our way to get some answers ... to get some relief.

Relief hasn't found it's way into my life yet. But, that's all right, because I will find it eventually. I will!! Like the season is changing, so will mine. And no matter what happens, I'm going to enjoy this time I've been given.

There's a reason why this is happening. God is going to use this for good. I told a friend this week, maybe he's preparing me for what it'll feel like to be old.

Maybe, my life is in reverse and I'll feel really good when I'm old. :)

Have a wonderful day,

Cindy :)